The passing of a Karate silent sage!
This past
week end I was asked to officiate and help with the service of a great man. It
was very strange for me as I am a bit socially awkward and used to playing the
part of the drill sergeant not the part of a funeral lead, but I accepted the
second his wife asked me to do it. I accepted because of my history with my big
brother in Karate and knowing that he would have first gotten a kick out of me
doing it, having known how hard and nervous It would make me, and secondly to
honor him as he was a great man.
I struggled to not say too much or talk for an
hour and I struggled reading other peoples words about this man and realizing
that I would not be able to chat ironically about this with him later. My friend
Scot was a unique guy. He was not what you would call the typical Karate guy,
but in a lot of ways that’s what made him so damn special. Physically he
struggled with his weight and joints to make his Karate work, but he worked so
hard at the details that he made it work. He was a big guy and a lot of people
would write off training with someone like him, but he was dangerous when you
would spar with him. He studied Karate, he did not just do it! Karate was NOT a sport to him, it was a field
of study!
Scot was a
philosopher king! He could have a conversation with you about various different
things, He would chat with me for hours about the policies struggles in the
states, our own politics, health care, nutrition, Karate, Bruce Lee, flying,
Motor cycles, his family and oh how his family was his favorite topic. He would listen to me as I would break down
over family issues, my daughters health, missing my brother Alan, who
ironically in this case die of Cancer as well. He was a man with a great big
heart, and while his Karate was violent and efficient, he was gentle and kind.
I really don’t
think that his loss has hit me yet. Its kind of surreal, normally you get hit when
you go up to do the eulogy or when you see his urn, but its not really their
yet! I know it will hit me out of the blue the first time I set foot on the
Dojo floor and realize I don’t have Scot to help support me or to assist with a
class, to lend a hand or a comment during a class or seminar. I wont get to
hear his Harley as he bikes into the city to take a class. And I wont get to
sit and chat with him after class.
I first met
Scot in the 80’s when we both started taking Karate under Dingman Sensei. At
first, being the shy kid that I was, I just observed the “Cool kids” in the
class, and Scot was about 10 years older than me and one of the cool kids. He
trained with the team in team classes and came out to the evening classes.
Later on when I was in university and made my class times set up so I could zip
off to a lunch class and then take an evening class I got to train a great deal
with Scot at lunch. That’s when we started talking a lot and training even more
together. I liked Scot, far more than I liked a lot of people who were part of
the “cool kids” group. I always felt that the “Cool kids” were looking down on
the rest of us, but I saw something in them, the fact that once sport was gone
for them…most would leave. But not Scot! He was in it for the passion of it.
I formed a
tight bond with my instructor at this time and took up learning how to teach
under him. I opened my own club but trained daily at the Hombu and got to see
Scot a great deal. He was humble, and while he could rip most of us apart on
the floor he did not. He would not make it easy for you but he was there to
help you grow, not embarrass you. He was good with kids, new students and those
of us who had years under our belts. He was patient to a fault and had a soft,
sometimes gravelly voice that just kind of calmed you, but he had this kind of misfit
in him that came out once and a while. A smile that said it was time to play
hard and have some fun, and if you were lucky he may let you stay vertical. Being
as he was a black belt in Judo he could sweep or throw almost anyone in the
Dojo and if he got his hands on you he would shake you playfully letting you
know that he could pretty much do whatever he wanted to with you.
Years rolled
on and we trained with each other a great deal, a strange reversal happened as
he had graded for his Nidan and I my shodan, then he left for a bit. We moved
from one club to another and he trained sporadically and was missing for most
classes at one point. He came back hard when we landed at Clifton community
center. We often talked about how the old Dojo should have gone on and kept
going, but family issues with Sensei and the changing economy as well as the
change in mentality of people in general made it hard on Sensei to keep his
beloved Dojo. But Scot was back and wanted to help out as much as he could.
Scot and I
both had a dream of a standalone club that would honor Sensei and his passion,
we both thought we had it with a club that one of our juniors had opened. We
both pitched in and taught or trained and we both tried to guide the instructor
who owned the club, but after a few years of trying very hard and feeling like
it was home, the instructor informed us he was leaving the JKA and joining
another group. I was mad, but Scot said
it was okay, this was obviously not the right path for us at this time…”when
something comes easy it is often not worth the effort” Scot said. He was very
sad but it was time to move on! He was mad at the situation, but as it was Scot
he said someday we can forgive the other instructor for his actions, just not
today he would say.
We promised
each other we would take the summer off a bit, train on our own, he was wanting
to do some hard core traveling with his wife and “reconnect” with the road! He
was told a few weeks later that he had liver Cancer. I remember when he emailed
me, he said he wanted to tell me face to face because he remembered my brother
Al was taken by Cancer. But his emails were as patient and calming as his voice
often was. He assured me after telling me about how he had found out that he
was up for the fight and his wife would help him out, his ever present hope was
there in that email.
We emailed
back and forth a great deal that month. I would drop him a line about how stressful
things were and how mad I was that I did not have a Dojo of my own, and he
would calm me down. I would ask how he was doing and he would tell me as always
he was fine, tired…but hey he was “Dropping some pounds” as he said. Scot had
this unique way of being slightly self-deprecating and trying to use that to
make you feel better. Over the month we
both focused on totally different issues, but we threw short emails at each
other and the last one I got from him was an endorsement of sorts, I asked him
to sit on the board of directors, rather my Kohai had sent him the email. He replied simply “whatever Sensei James requires
I will endeavor to accomplish”.
One month
after telling me he was diagnosed with Cancer I was at home stretching out and
drinking coffee on a nice summer morning, I got a frantic text from my Kohai
asking me to call her right away. I ventured outside and a million things ran
through my head as to what the crisis could be, I actually thought my Sensei
had passed away. I took my coffee and went outside, sat down on my patio chair
and called her. Her voice was shaky and she gave me the news.
The world
began to spin for me, Memories of me chatting with him, his big smile and his
HUGE hands as he would throw me around the room and more so his presence just
kind of sat down on me and her words kind of trailed off into the distance as
the realization that Scot had passed hit me. My rock was gone in Karate, the
one person that I knew would give it to me straight, support me no matter what
and help me guide my Sensei’s organization to the future was now gone. I can
say that I trust few people in this world and anyone that knows me will tell
you I don’t make friends easily. I’m stubborn as hell, loyal to a fault and
often extremely socially awkward. Those I count as friends in Karate are “ride
or die” kinds of friends. Losing one is hard and hurts a great deal. Scot was
one of those “ride or die” kinds of people.
I am a
Karate Purest and a bit of a Karate Snob, I hate Karate sport and I even tried
to keep the JKA/MB pure and away from sport. It was Scot who convinced me that
we needed to get back to tournaments. When the instructor left us recently I
was very upset and used the term Hate a great deal. Scot talked me down and
convinced me to let it go. When Sensei got sick and could not teach anymore it
was Scot that told me it was my job to take over and he would support me and
help me, but to lean on others as well. When I told him that I was scared we
would lose the tradition in Karate and that it was becoming some kind of farce,
he was the one that said “Do what you do, those that come and enjoy it will
stay…those that don’t will leave”.
Scot was
going to be the first person in the door of the new club he said, and then when
we rebuilt enough and started with the new stand alone in a few years he wanted
to be the one to cut the ribbon. Now I am not a religious person but I feel that
he honestly will be the first on the floor in spirit and I will continue to
train and teach the way that he liked and keep the tradition alive for him. To
honor him and my Sensei and I will try and reflect as much as I can on Scot
when planning out the future of the JKA/MB as its his heritage as much as it is
my instructors or mine.
Ous!
