Friday, March 02, 2012

I know Karate…and other scary Asian sounding words!




I normally write blogs that are ½ serious, me bitching about something or my views on Karate..I try to make them a bit light hearted but with some seriousness to them so that students, peers and even instructors might see something that they can learn from ……or if its my instructor reading it he knew I was not asleep in class for the last 30 years. However, this time I am going to publish a “Not so serious” blog-tionary about Karate terms and things you may have suspected they meant…but were never sure.


Karate training does not require that you know Japanese, and dear God don’t use this post as a way of learning…but it helps to know a few key terms…these are…not them!



In part one I am going to focus more on titles, places, and things that wont help you much in the club, but might help you understand the mentality of some instructors and students.



Dojo: Place of training, a title used for any training hall….replaced the old title of Gomon-Shitsu (torture chamber)….a wise marketing move if you ask me!



Obi: Belt, while western belts are used to keep your pants up, the “eastern” version is used to keep your jacket shut…and help expand your cranium over time.




Karate: Empty hand, this is the second meaning of Karate…first being to wear white PJ’s and dance around…but empty hand sounded so much nicer!



Karate Do: Art or way of the empty hand, Again, a change…from the art of wearing artsy white PJ’s and dancing around.



Karate Jutsu: Empty handed killing art, lastly..the art of killing people who pay you lots of money to learn…while wearing white Pj’s and dancing around.



Honbu: Head quarters dojo, the place all the money goes in an organization and you will probably never visit...a vast and beutiful eutopia of Karate...or the PO box that they use.



O-Sensei: Great sensei, A title used to refer to the head instructor, founder or leader of a style of Karate. This was actually penned or used to use when referring to Aikidos founder, but like all things it was stolen and mis-used by the western mind and is now used for those that want to charge more money to teach students…..normally the title on the door will say “O-Sensei……Bud Morgan….32 Dan Kratty master”.



Dai Sensei: Big Sensei, Or he who ate the last donut! Normally the response to “Hai, Dai Sensei” would be “are you calling me fat?” and a quick Kin geri to the student…see next blog!



Shinai: Kendo training stick, otherwise known as “the equalizer” in a dojo, The “correcting stick” and “old Betsy”. Bamboo sword used to hit students who don’t wash their gis and you don’t actually want to touch!



Tori: the person that completes a technique, Stolen from Judo, this term means the guy/gal that is doing the techniques with a partner…so the one kicking you in the head can be called Tori! Most annoying to be hit by a tori over and over again….just ask Deam McDermott! (inside joke with the wife)



Uke: the person being used to complete the technique, The Uke is the person that gets used as a Human Makiwara, they are the “target” or the “victim”, the trusting fool that stands their and lets a crazy white PJ wearing mad person throw their limbs at them and hopes they don’t have to use that expensive dental coverage they have.



Shodan: first step, People with a Shodan have “mastered the basics, or have a firm grasp of them. Normally shodan level is filled with new responsibilities…like the sanity challenging Children’s class, doing some paper work and the all-important Karate technique of “Know-what sensei takes in his coffee” at testing’s. All of which are life lessons that will pay off at some point.



Ikkyu: First level, The first Kyu or Ikkyu is normally signified by someone that wears a brown belt. This level is just under the Shodan (first black belt)level and is normally seen as the most demanding level next to the black belt..and next to just about every other level there is…above the Ikkyu! Ikkyu students normally look like they have to much nervous energy and they may have had one to many red bulls. They want the Black belt level so bad but forget the most important lesson in Karate…patence. Its not a goal to only wear a black belt…it’s a goal to be one.



Yudansha: Holder of a black belt, Someone that has a black belt…which can be purchased for a meager $50 at any Karate store…or you can do it the right way and put in 5-10 years of hard work and actually earn one. Far to often Shodans that are not “of proper character” forget that you can be a shodan, but not a Yudansha!



Mudansha: One without a black belt, anyone that is not a Dan level student……a very fancy term made up so color belts don’t feel bad about not having a title!



Gi: training uniform, The shortened version of Keikogi, a informal name for white Pj’s.



Dogi: Uniform, Name for a Traditionally used white karate uniform. Includes one pair of baggie white pants, a weird jacket and a belt to keep aforementioned jacket shut.



Keikogi: Training uniform, Otherwise seen as a uniform used for hard work outs….meaning not so white anymore. Normal Keikogi’s have brown stains (dried blood…not the other kind), yellow pits and back and are not quite “off white”…torn in spots and look well worn. The true sign of a hard workout and challenging Dojo….Be aware of a club that has all PURE white gis on the floor…may be a front for an ill-named Tae Bo class!



Dojo Kun: Dojo sayings, Kun means Precept, but that is confusing, so we will use saying. The Dojo Kun is focused on what to do and what not to do for students. A fancy way of saying…Don’t use Karate to hit anyone and try to be good!...which would be much easier to say in English, but may hurt your mouth in Japanese: Darenimo hitto shi, yoikoto shiyou to suru karate o shiyō shinaide kudasai!



Niju Kun: 20 sayings, The much longer (obviously) set of precepts for Karate students made up by Funakoshi sensei…however instead of how to perfect your character and use Karate “for good” the Niju Kun is more about how to use Karate to kick butt…way cooler and not as touchy feely as the dojo Kun.



Shotokan: the house of waiving pines, This is the name of the first Dojo opened in Japan by Sensei G. Funikoshi, it mixed his pen name “Shoto” or wavy pines with Kan or house. The results were we got confused and thought that’s what the style name was. So every time you say “oh, I train in Shotokan” you are saying “oh, I train in the house of wavy pines”…Really not as mean sounding in Japanese eh!



Shoto-ryu: Waving pines style, Some students who left the JKA have used Shoto-ryu to name the style they train in…just to be different. Just leads to more confusion and still sounds girly when you translate it…like what are we a bunch of arborists?



Deshi: Student, or Target, abused one, the hard worker, and my favorite…human makiwara. Deshi actually is more a relationship to the instructor than a title. Or, “this is my Deshi” as in “this is my direct student”. Most masters will have few Deshi and many students. A person very well versed in cleaning floors, washing Sensei's gi and doing all the paper work...Can be a Yudansha.



Samurai: Japanese warrior(direct translation “he who servs”), Everyone in the west started using the term Samurai in the 90’s after NINJA fell out of favour with adults who did Karate…just the next silly idea for marketing “SAMURAI KARATE” and such. However the term does not mean “WARRIOR” it means “SERVENT” kind of funny when you think about it.



Ninja: Japanese Assassin warrior (direct translation “Steeler in”), A guy that wears black Pj’s and get arrested for walking around down town jumping people….because REAL NINJAS DIED OUT! The art of Ninjitsu died out before the Meijin restoration that saw Funakoshi lop off top knots, some really smart business people who did not underestimate the silliness and moronic tendencies of the west resurrected the “art” of black Pj’s in the 80’s to grab some quick cash from immature morons before they realized they were being taken…however, we as a society made sure we went well beyond the hopes and dreams of the Japanese hucksters and took our silliness to new levels by accepting it as a real art and even seeing many a poor soul pay huge bucks to wear black Pj’s and “walk the shadows”.

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